The Twilight Hour

Returning

2008-02-11T16:48:00.000-08:00

Could it be that I may return to my twilight thoughts after so long, I needed to take a break from it, as the mind was overloaded and I could not cope with it all, so if I still have any readers I´m back

return

2007-11-27T15:04:00.000-08:00

I am still around and still have my twilight thoughts everyday, but it is harder now, to express the way that I am feeling. still maybe I will begin to post again

Blog Changes

2007-04-19T14:44:00.000-07:00

Twilight thoughts f0r these days....Blogger is changing...now they post our pictures on picasa....maybe we don´t want that, maybe some people want copyright on their pictures....Now it seems that we have to buy more image space if we use all out quota. Had problems pasting and uploading photos, others have other or the same problems...I received an invitation to contribute to my own blog???very odd. What happening to Blogger...do you want us to stay? There are I hear more changes planned, ....but don´t forget your bloggers......

The Passion

2007-04-07T07:52:00.000-07:00

Good Friday, lots of twilight thoughts on the crucificion, every channel is showing some film or other, the religous parades in Sevilla, really makes this time quite intense.

I watched for the first time,"The Passion"by Mel Gibson, it was a strong film, I think the best and most realistic version I have seen, before the film I liked most was " The Greatest Story Ever Told".

I wanted to see this film for so long,but people put me off, saying it was bloody and horrific. However, to crucify someone is a bloody and horrific act, so I think the film portrays the awfulness so well. I cried during the film, it touched my soul....therefore I think Mel Gibson got it exactly right. We are meant to cry, and shudder and close our eyes at the pain endured. It is for us to remember.....and I did.

Give Thanks

2007-03-31T14:40:00.000-07:00

On my terrace once again, havent had many twilight thoughts recently but my thought today was how do we maintain our health?, I heard of someone I knew who seemed so perfectly well but was a little tired had only one month to live. She had not been ill, so it was a shock. It was so sudden and now although they know there is nothing that can be done they are still trying, how wonderful are these people that study medicine. OK sometimes we get fed up with one ignorant doctor but these are few and in general are the ones that fight to cure us. The terrible thing for me is after 5 major operations, this person who was a nurse looked after me at times, I also knew her socially. We should give thanks for every day that we live.

Was it in a Dream?

2007-03-16T14:05:00.000-07:00

Back again on the terrace to enjoy the tranquility and my twilight thoughts. During the night about 2.30am i was awoken by someone calling my name out loud. The voice sounded familiar and there are two people that it sounded like. On waking there was no no one....did I really expect to see anyone, after all there was only me and my german shepherd dog in the house, and she wasn´t barking. So was it in a dream? I think not, I think it was more a form of telepathy, one of those two people had maybe thought of me, and my subconscious was receptive and open whilst I slept. Many people experience such things and probably when our perception is at its highest.

Passage to the Unknown

2007-03-07T04:03:00.000-08:00

This picture is for the artwords theme Having just recently been operated on my twilight thoughts were the light and tunnel that people talk about, Is it the same as when you are first going under anesthetic I wonder. I always have a problem because of my asthma, this occasion memories of my life flashed before me, only for a few seconds or who knows how long. But I was considering these things and wondered if it because the brain is becoming inactive and works backwards in time. Is it only a passage into the unknown from which we return? One of life´s great mysteries.

A Learning curve

2007-02-23T04:05:00.000-08:00

Its been sometime since taking time for my twilight thoughts, I am recovering from a further operation, this time the shoulder...next the other. I am working hard at being auto sufficient, and sometimes I have to laugh at myself as I attempt to hang out the washing , or chop vegetables with one arm strapped to my side, moveable only from the wrist, gracias I can use my computer. I believe that I am lucky, with all my joints and bone problems I can lead a relatively normal life, others cant, I appreciate everything more with each breaking day, Ok maybe I walk alittle like Charlie Chaplin(only a little) but I am still the same person inside, only that I am more sensitive to all things. I can´t run, play tennis, sit on the beach/floor..but I can paint , write, laugh and sing, No it´s not all highs, there are lows and I have learnt to deal with them, in fact I have learnt a lot and have valued things far more this last 3 years...but do we need to become ill to really appreciate life? I think not.

Graffiti Elephant

2007-01-10T11:06:00.000-08:00

Twilight thought for today, our possesions do not bring peace into out lives.....true, for me memories create far more peace for me, I love the 67-70`s era. The spirit of that time was so good, a lot of my work is influenced by that period. Graffiti elephant is part of my late 60´s work. Graffiti works well in the right places.

Begin

2007-01-01T07:42:00.000-08:00

This has been posted for a reason, it is not something I would normally want people to see, but it is part of a project called Begin, and I felt this was apt. Both .hips fractured, reasons unknown......new hips and 4 operations later...I am able to walk..a little unsteady..but I walk. People look at me and say "You don´t look like your ill, why do you need a crutch?" I get fed up with it and would love to show them this, I had to begin to learn the things I could do and will never do again, to adapt to the pain. The operations on the right hip have not been that successful. So people out there appearances can be deceptive, and when you see me soon with my arm strapped up, remember this photo. I can sympathise with Dr House in every way. Happy New Year.

A New Year Begins

2007-01-01T04:47:00.000-08:00

Yes you who must leave everything

That you cannot control

It begins with your family

But soon comes round to your soul. (Leonard Cohen)

The first morning of a new year and my twilight hour is taken now waiting for the sun to break on a new day, a new year. I wonder what it will bring for most of us, if it began badly will it continue to do so or if it began well will we have a year of goodness. It´s sad if a year begins badly, although we sometimes have the power to change it, at times it´s impossible or irreversible, and then we have to decide where to go from there. So if your new year began badly, I hope you will find a resolution and those who had a good new year, treasure it.

Christmas Thoughts

2006-12-19T04:47:00.000-08:00

The wind has changed direction and I am able to take my twilight hour outside, the subtle glistening lights of christmas add a magic to the air. I used to love Christmas but not anymore, I miss my family miles away, my special sister on the other side of the world. My grand daughter lost through seperation, my sons whose lives have been hard this year, and others of my family. I miss the days long ago when Christmas was about visiting and being a family, grandparents and the one carefully wrapped present laying under the tree. One for each person..valuable and with love. When I spend my Christmas here with my partners family, I see the closeness of a family united in every way, but this I do not miss, as you can not miss what you haven´t had. I dislike the way a kind of greed has entered such a special time, the most expensive means the most love??? No I don´t think so, somewhere we have got it wrong, and our children will not understand the true value of this special time. Life changes every day, perhaps we are all responsible...and where eventually will it lead us to? To all my family close and distant I love you all.

And for those people in the world without shelter and food, I pray for you.

Let´s hope that some form of sanity touches these places and the world in 2007.

Happy Christmas to All and PEACE on earth.

nativity

2006-12-13T05:26:00.000-08:00

My twilight hour once more begins on the terrace, i am wrapped in a shawl to protect me from the wind. I was attempting to find some form of christmas spirit so I built a nativity scene to place in the garden with candles lights around and palm trees. It looked lovely but the place where it stood is now empty.

Four days of unexpected high winds and rain, blew it all away. Having retrieved most of it, it lays on the terrace floor in a state of disrepair, a sodden mess and i think irepairable...

Ah!!!but i had the pleasure of building it, local children enjoyed looking at it. I have a photo so now it is just a memory.

And I am reminded that everything in life is temporary.

Change

2006-12-11T03:41:00.000-08:00

When the pain subsides so my thoughts of my twilight hour assemble. I have had a reasonable 48hrs. Not only is it too cold for me to spend my twilight hour on the terrace, but we also have heavy rain, a gift much needed here to put some green back into an otherwise scorched landscape.

So I sit and watch from the window, and its so lovely to hear the rain beating down on the roof, and I wonder why we take so much for granted in life, and when things change it comes as quite a shock. Someone I once knew boasted of his wealth and that he would never work after the age of 40....a year later he went into bankruptcy, an enormous shock to him, he had taken it for granted that he would always be successful....

I never thought I would become so ill, after all my mad times when I was young....maybe I am paying for it now.

We can´t always believe that maybe someone will love us for ever, because maybe they wont....and if we take things for granted the greater the possibility in things going wrong. Enjoy what you have for today, for tomorrow it could all change.

scatterings

2006-12-07T03:44:00.000-08:00

When sundown pales the the sky,

I want to hide a while behind your smile,

to help me put all my blues behind.(Donovan)

These days have passed and I am not able to sit and ponder in my twilight hour. For my body is so wracked with pain and my thoughts have become like a vast fog forming over the sea...unclear, unreal. Whilst I see the movement of the sea, I am unable to feel it.....whilst I feel the words within me, I am not able to offer them.

My thoughts are scattered like autumn leaves in a wind, unable to be collected together..and those who know intense pain...will understand the temporary closure of the soul.

catch the wind

2006-11-23T04:44:00.000-08:00

The twilight thoughts of these past days have blown away with the wind, in search of answers. There will be more thoughts to follow in a few days.

Dream power

2006-11-02T04:32:00.000-08:00

My twilight hour reflects the power of dreams, I am one person who dreams intensly and usually, not always.. remember every specific detail on waking. If I dont record those details in the first hour of waking they start to fade. I´ve used my dreams for all different kinds of creative projects, but yesterday I had the most vivid dream that ran like a short film, it vaguely touched on things tucked away in my subconscious, but was far more creativeand visual. It haunted me all day until finally I sat down at my lap top and recorded it, it flowed like a short story without ceasing.

It amazed me that dreams can be so inspirational or maybe the story of someone passed on? Where perception and the unconscious mind is concerned no one knows.???

Royal Mail Correos Aussie Post

2006-10-30T13:34:00.000-08:00

I,m sitting here in my twilight hour wondering why people don´t write letters anymore.So personal, caring and romantic...such wonderful choices of paper and sweet smelling envelopes. What a pleasure they were to behold lying on the mat in the morning.

But I have finally discovered why, and it´s not because technology has run ahead and the birth of email and blogs, but.......The Postal Service....its appears most countries seem to have problems.

One month ago nearly it was my birthday, My darling sis in Oz is always on the ball posting months ahead,a little exagerrated but always in time, my brother and my mother in the UK both sent birthday cards.....they were all lovely apparently. But they have never arrived...most things do...what I want to know is...........

POSTAL SERVICES SPAIN; AUSTRALIA AND UNITED KINGDOM (1 point) ....where are my birthday cards and my surprise!!!! It really feels like when you lose your suitcase, everyday I wait for the post...what if.. Its like watching the empty luggage belt go round (Thanks Spanair)´

So to the postal services of the above countries...... thanks a bunch for a happy birthday.!!

And this isn´t the first time

I have 2 huge hungry german shepherds just daring you to turn up tomorrow.

change

2006-10-26T15:53:00.000-07:00

This post may be moving in the next days please keep watching for the new direction, due to problems caused by plaigerism.

Gothic

2006-10-19T14:58:00.000-07:00

Here on my terrace my thoughts are in the past,
I remember the gothic era although it never truly went away. I loved the drama of the black and purple gowns, it was an era that was a little romantic. I had many friends who were "goths"in London, the clubs were something to behold.

This is a digital print based on an acrylic painting I once did.

The easal still stands empty.

Change

2006-10-18T01:32:00.000-07:00

Shadows falling across the terrace floor, accompanied by long fingers of light, thrown out by the candlelight. I am waiting for a call, a call that hasn´t come, leaving me in suspense.
There is more wind tonight, more than normal...as the weather changes with the year. There´s an empty easle on my terrace, the wind won´t allow me to paint. The sea is inquiet, and the moon, full and pale hides behind a mist. Soon I will reach for something to keep me warm, as I sit here with my thoughts in the silence.

Autumn

2006-10-10T12:11:00.000-07:00

The evening skies darken much earlier now, as autumn, arrives, but I never see it changing. No golden leaves to crunch on, or shuffle as you walk along. No patterns of early frost on the window panes, only the remains of the sand blown over from the sahara. The evenings are chilling a little , with humidity in the night, but the days remain hot.

No arrival of autumn,...... we do not have many trees., but I carry images of those autumn days in my memory.

Pain

2006-10-05T05:58:00.000-07:00

Haven´t been on my terrace recently as illness wracked my body with pain, it was not easy to sit and think.My friend told me I looked very sad...and I tried to laugh it off, giving the ex cuse, birthday blues and one year older. I try hard not to allow things to affect others and continue in a positive mode, but there is nothing like pain to bring you down to earth with a big bang. No one can understand intense pain unless they have suffered it. After 3 years my pain threshold is high so for me to take to my sofa and not surf my beloved internet amongst other things....it was bad. So for all you people out there in pain, I feel for you.

Angel

2006-09-25T15:40:00.000-07:00

I had a discussion about angels and whether they really exist...who can say.

My own opinion is yes they exist, and that we only see them when they want us to, but we can feel their presence, beside us..behind us...where ever . someone showed me this photo taken of an angel, it´s an old photo. I´m not sure I believe it´s real, but I do believe in angels., not so sure about the fluffy wings and harps...but then again in history all the old master paintings show the typical angel, someone must have seen one to know what they looked like. Personally I prefer to think of them like Nicholas Cage in City of Angels. This was my twilight thought for today.

Confession

2006-09-20T04:09:00.000-07:00

I had been thinking about the saying ´Confession is good for the soul´ My only confessions in my life have been in my prayers and to one extremely wonderful friend. I am however ever more aware that since becoming ill and the severity of the operations I ´ve had recently (with more to come) I have a need to pour out my heart , for good or bad.
A cleansing of the soul, and I am not alone in this respect..I have known many people do the same, its a sensation that comes from within, and develops into a powerful need.
I visited a spiritual sanctuary recently and I cleansed my soul with a vengeance, (although that wasn´t why I was there). It was the most powerful and enlightening thing I have ever experienced, so the saying is right...confession is good for the soul.

Home

2006-09-16T13:40:00.000-07:00

Here I am once more back on my terrace in the warmth of the evening...how I;ve missed it. Just sitting in peace alone with my thoughts and memories. Travelling has taken it´s toll on my health but soon I will recouperate the energies I lost, I met some interesting people and heard sad tales, visited long lost friends and laughed. I smiled with the people and entered the cathedral to offer a prayer for all I knew, and lit a few candles for dear ones lost. But now I´m back and will be offering more of my twilight thoughts. Those who have stayed with me ...thankyou

Small Things

2006-09-11T04:30:00.000-07:00

In my travels I have offered friends and family a kiss, a chocolate, a hug, a smile, a flower and a word.

To present a person with one of these things is to offer them a precious gift. Money can´t buy love or happiness, the simple things can create great joy.

The next time someone offers you something small and beautiful, accept it with an open heart...see it for its real value....LOVE

Palasandra returns to her terrace on Thursday.

Change

2006-09-07T10:51:00.000-07:00

when we experience inner change and become better more caring people so the sense of change is subtle. We discover inner peace and offer help to others, change is not an easy thing but its possible.

However we should not think that change shows on the outside, that we gleam with goodness and shine with love. For real change does not have a mask it lies only within.

miracles

2006-09-01T10:14:00.000-07:00

maybe we are too blind or obsessed to see them , but they do exist. A premature baby without weight lives and grows, A flower that survives the drought and flourishes, A person suffering from cancer escapes the velvet glove of death, a person whose both hips are broken walks....the love of your fellow man. Are these not miracles? Everyday of our life miracles happen....Life is a miracle within itself ... but what is not a miracle is the action to destroy it.

Friends

2006-08-24T10:40:00.000-07:00

No longer on my terrace but still these are my thoughts of the twilight hour, a little disjointed as no laptop through airport safety regulations, so sporadic visits to internet cafes. Passing through London I think of all the people I have visited.....especially those that have become frail or ill or grown so old you hardly recognise them...and I remember how fast the life passes. Time is ripping their strength from them but still they manage to smile and laugh. When they do I sense a great warmth inside, and I am happy I was able to visit them.

This site has not closed but I am travelling so keep visiting , more soon.

medicine for the soul

2006-08-05T08:37:00.000-07:00

soon i must leave the tranquility of my terrace, for a month..for a place that has trees,grass birds that sing in the mornings, mountains and pines that run down to the white beaches.It will not be as warm but for sure it will refresh my soul, and inspire my creativity. Culture and festivals, country markets.
A FORM OF MEDICINE THAT CLEANSES THE MIND AND RIDS THOSE DARK CORNERS OF OUR BEING OF COBWEBS.
The air is pure and cleanses the thought processes that have become drained throughout the year. Everyone should spend some time in their favorite place, leaving behind all the clutter we have with us every day. Simple is stressfree

Tribute

2006-08-01T03:47:00.000-07:00

The pain of life, sometimes is that of a sword that pierces the heart.
All of us at sometime will feel the pain of loss, I feel for the loss of those parents from the tragic accident this weekend, such young lives taken before they had time to discover the meaning of life. Let strength be your guide.

tribute

2006-08-01T03:41:00.000-07:00

Change

2006-07-28T04:16:00.000-07:00

It´s a very humid july night, you just have to sit outside. My twilight thoughts are about illness and change.
When life changes through illness this is out of our control, and we have to learn to accept it, - live with it and do the best we can. Life isn´t always an open book, sometimes it´s closed, and we have no idea what the ending will be.
In this moment my life is constantly changing through illness, day by day, hour by hour. It´s when I sit alone and think that I wonder how many more changes are to come, and what will it lead to.
This is not a good thought because then I am concentrating on the future, that may never arrive for any of us.
So I´m learning to live each day to the full, I don´t mean out partying but appreciating, what I have and the small things in life. Enjoying the sensation of cold water in my morning swim. Accepting the warmth of the sun and be happy. I smile more than I ever did, so it´s working.
I offer a smile to all of you who read this blog, and thankyou for your visit.

Little drops of rain

2006-07-23T10:49:00.000-07:00

And if the sun refused to shine, would I still be loving you, and if mountains crumbled into the sea, would there still be you and me? (Led Zeppelin)

if there was no light would things be the same, and if life changed drastically, would we pass this together. Sometimes as I sit alone on this terrace I wonder about these things, life is always changing affecting us all, but what if things change for the worst...no more is there peace in the world...no more are we together...no longer do we connect or understand such things. These days I feel darkness in my life...what happened to the light, yes it´s still shining but very softly. I have a heavy heart...not only for a loved one but for family, friends and people I once knew. the answer is "If the sun refused to shine ,would I still be loving you?" the answer is yes.... all of you......

"Little drops of rain, whisper down the pane, tears of love lost in the days gone by" (Led Zeppelin)

What if?

2006-07-20T16:02:00.000-07:00

Reach out and touch, reach out and touch but the anger is creating a block. A misunderstanding or a moment of stress can fuse such powerful and destructive emotions. silence prevails, I like to listen to silence, but not this kind of silence...stoney cold. Maybe life is about to change again in another way. All this change makes me tired. Why do things erupt from nothing? Why can you see only one side and not two. Why cant two adult people behave like adults, and why do people who are supposed to love each other...hurt each other? And what if the sky was red?
Where do we go from here? for a women who hasn´t any tears it´s hard to cry. I think they must have been used up during the course of my life....and what if i tell you I love you and you turn your back and walk away? Maybe the tide is turning and the terrace has become an ocean.

Archways of the mind

2006-07-17T03:09:00.000-07:00

Yes I have memories and many of them as I travel through those hidden arches deep within my mind. It´s a little like fighting your way through an overflowing filing cabinet and not being an organised person, the result is really quite amazing, fragments of memories long past, intertwined with those of yesterday, joy mixed with pain, dark mixed with light. Why do we retain so many memories? Why do memories of so long ago emerge in last nights dream, intertwined with symbols and reflections? For sure they are trying to tell, explain or resolve a problem. These archways of the mind are so valuable, exploring them enables you to revisit times past or remember people no longer in your life. Today will become another chamber in your memory.

I believe in angels

2006-07-16T12:47:00.000-07:00

I sit on the terrace awaiting the darkness of night, and notice the statue of an angel that I have placed amidst the rocks I collected from the beach. It looks beautiful and illuminous, caught by the light of neighbouring houses. The day has been hot and without air, the sky has been closed for days. I wonder why I have such an attraction towards angels, Is it because I believe in them, I´ve often had visions of angels walking around and wondered if we could really see them would there be many standing on this terrace or in the living room when your watching TV, or standing by or sitting on your bed. I like to think there is, a bit like that movie ´City of Angels¨ except I wouldn´t quite like them to be dressed in black crombie coats and black ties. I think of them being more etherial, but partly transparent, voile and feathers, a romantics view, but then I think I would accept them as they are. I was onced touched by an angel or so I think it was, at a dinner with many people, at first I thought it was someone I knew but then there was no one there..then it happened again and people assured there had been no one, but I think it was an angel telling me to be brave, I at that time had been upset over something. I had a friend when I was very young , her father was yugoslavian and he became the centre of attention in the village because he had seen an angel in the sky....some thought he was crazy but he wasn´t.

Think of the obsession people have with angles, artists, writers film directors and more........

looking within

2006-07-12T13:29:00.000-07:00

As the silence enfolds me so do I look inwards for a greater understanding of my life, and who I am. Well we all know who we are but do we really know. I never became the person I thought I would be, and I never felt loved like I felt I should have been. Did one thing influence the other? Did the lack of a hug and a demonstration of love as a child influence my whole being? and why is it so unrepairable? I am far from being a child yet at times I still hurt like one, when life changed for me I wanted someone to wipe my tears and make it better, but the only person that was there ........couldn´t...although he tried. I have a missing link that has been with me all my life, and has damaged the person I could have been, and at times it makes me feel sad, but now I allow myself to acknowledge that feeling and not to hide it away.

call on the wind

2006-07-05T05:20:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I think life is like a call on the wind...it lifts you up, carries you to different places or situations....drops you and blusters you around at times without mercy. When I think about all the terrible tradgedies that have happened with such a great loss of life...I wonder why? Who can answer that..no one. Sometimes we are so materialistic, needing all the latest things, but if there was an earth quake or great flood we would lose all. I am a collector, but of things that might one day be useful, shells, stones shiney things...you name it I collect it, but I think I´m better than I was..I no longer wear designer clothes, or drive the latest model car, I´m not saying that I dislike them but I don´t need them to feel good about my myself. I no longer have the money I once had, but the simple things in life I enjoy. I think what I´m trying to say is that, my life changed and I had to adapt, but I discovered hidden treasures I never knew existed. I am learning to ride the wind.

Where there is life

2006-07-03T13:54:00.000-07:00

This photo is taken from a book I am writing.How much this means to me these last days, as I sit in the twilight of the night and think.

The skies have been starless these last days, unusual for this time of year. I reflect on how life can change in an instant, how through one phrase your whole world can alter drastically, in one split second of a decision and the life can change drastically..for better or for worse.

It´s been two years since my life changed and it´s been two years of trying to remain positive, and I think I suceeded in that. I appreciate the phrase, Where there´s life there´s hope. I have also learnt that there are many people in far worse situations than I or you.

The Twilight Hour

2006-06-30T10:53:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my twilight hour. It´s a time of day that I dedicate to my personal thoughts, it´s also a time of day when I seem to achieve my highest peak of ideas and inspiration. An offloading and onloading time, if you get my point. I would be pleased if anyone wanted to share their twilight thoughts with me. I love the semi darkness, the fading light and the scent of flowers in the evening air. It´s at this time that perceptions and intuitions are heightened, you can almost feel the souls of angels wandering around you. I sit on the candlelit terrace and journey, ....wherever I want....resolving problems...creating ideas....analysing the day...or just sitting. Always ready to write down any odd thought or idea that comes to mind. Thankyou for visiting my twilight hour and I hope you will visit again when I begin to post.